Greenpeace’s lofty goal is to “ensure the ability of the earth to nurture life in all its diversity.” But as the group’s own “core values” note, “What matters isn’t words, but actions,” and, they claim “there’s only one standard in this: The environment has to benefit.” But Greenpeace’s juvenile and unserious actions regularly fail to live up to their own high-minded standards.

1) Greenpeace denounces seafood certifications, fishery improvement projects and the work of any other ENGOs.

…at board meetings chaired by a dancing dude in a sombrero and cardigan.

2) Serious-minded and respected ENGOs offer real sustainability ideas and solutions while…

Greenpeace experts are having dance parties on the bow of their multi-million-dollar yacht.

3) Greenpeace insists it is a serious organization that deserves a voice in global seafood sustainability policymaking…

But then they dress up in plushy costumes and harass shoppers in grocery store parking lots.

4) …Or pole-dance on the subway.

5) Here’s how they spend the money they get in grants from distinguished foundations like Packard and Pew:

6) Their educational initiatives include creating knock-off video games and putting it on a street corner:

7) They spend money on 8-bit sharks, but none on bycatch research.

8 ) While actual ocean researchers were doing the hard work of studying fisheries management around the world…

Greenpeace was having fun with helicopter joyrides and flying their blimp-to-nowhere.

9) When it comes to tuna conservation, Greenpeace has repeatedly been invited to skip the antics and join the adults shaping long term tuna sustainability…

But apparently they’d rather party on their yacht and in the hot tub.

10) . . . or play dress-up with cartoon fish. . .

11) . . . or animate gory fantasies. . .

12) Their idea of “actions, not words” includes sophomoric prank calls. . .

Click here to listen to a Greenpeace phonecall.

A tuna sandwich, by the way, can help maintain a healthy heart and boost baby brain development.

13) Just another in the long line of childish stunts meant to confuse the public, amuse each other, and gin up donations, while sitting on the sidelines pointing fingers. Greenpeace simply isn’t interested in the facts. Get them here: